Before and After: Family Kitchen Reno

I’ve been a little quiet on the blog in the new year. That’s because our lives were turned upside-down this winter… in the best way possible!

February and most of March were consumed with the realization of a long-dreamed-of kitchen renovation. Ever since we moved into our house seven years ago (when I was eight months pregnant with our second daughter), my husband and I have been pacing the floors, wondering what an updated kitchen space would even look like. It wasn’t a matter of if. It was when.

We made some cuts on our own - literal cuts - removing this peninsula (below) among other things, and we updated appliances slowly, as break downs occurred.

But something more had to be done. Our 44-year-old cabinets, part of the original 1976 construction, were falling off the hinges, and a year of quarantine life put an extra bright spotlight on the disfunction.

Not that there weren’t a million beautiful memories made in the old kitchen.

Yogurt baths…

First steps…

Sister playtime…

Cooking escapades…

And Christmas morning gymnastics…

But don’t be distracted by the cute children! Changes needed to be made!

There were years when we thought it would never happen at all - and that’s why it was so overwhelming when construction took only three weeks! Many, many thanks to our kitchen designer Nancy Muller of CR Cabinetry (and Monarch Cabinetry of Sullivan, IL) and our local contractor Robert Silvestri of Park West Design/Construction.

With warm mid-century wood tones, shiny surfaces, clean-yet-classic lines, and black accents on the brain, we created a plan and went for it. Here are the before-and-after pics!

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BEFORE: Looking into the kitchen

AFTER: Wall down, same view

(Soffits and cabinets out, lighter floors and walls, new lighting, cabinets and counters)

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BEFORE: Sink and primary prep space

AFTER: Same area, different angle

(Moved the oven, closed one window, installed a bigger window over the sink)

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BEFORE: Wall between kitchen and dining room

AFTER: Same view, wall removed

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BEFORE: Refrigerator wall

AFTER: Same wall

(Added a much needed pantry!)

And just like that, it’s done!

Wow, is it nice to have a more open floor plan. We are researching getting a new gait trainer for our 9 year old, Miss E - like the one she uses at school (below). She’ll have much more room to move in her equipment in this new set up. I recently wrote an update on Miss E on the www.wolfhirschhorn.org website (Elsa: 9 years old), in case you’d like to check that out!

Happy spring (and spring break) to all of you! And be sure to scroll down to the posts below, to see the books I’ve reviewed on the blog so far this year. They are all EXCELLENT and not to be missed.

Until next time!

Goodbye, summer... Hello, school!

After weeks of soaking up the sun and floating the hours away on vacation, we returned home, entering the quiet in-between. The final days of summer.

One of my first to-do’s when we got back was to pick up my daughters’ dance costumes. The ones they were fitted for in January, and supposed to wear in a May recital, but never got to use, because of COVID.

The outfits were so cute! It broke my heart that they would never be worn, outside of basement dress up. I texted my friend Heather, a phenomenal dance teacher and human being, and told her that she was gonna need to choreograph some routines for us, so the girls could dance in these darling dresses, at least once.

She said yes, of course, then instantly added: What if we did an outdoor socially distant dance camp? One week later, my driveway was alive with music and friends. Our engineer husbands drew a grid to keep the girls separated six feet. (Some little sibs shared squares.) Heather brought the music and two company members to help lead two groups of 10. Then they got to work. And by work, I mean fun. Like, the most fun we’d had all summer. (Lake vacation included.)

After just three days of rehearsals, we hosted a Saturday night recital in our front yard. Parents sat 6+ feet apart in the lawn while the girls rocked it in whatever costumes they wanted. It was a hodgepodge of color and style, and the energy was contagious.

The camp was the first-ever class and recital for my oldest, Miss E, who has Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome. It was a little challenging because she’s often pretty tired after dinner, but she did great! Miss E danced one number (the jazz song) out of her chair…

And one song (ballet) seated. I clicked off her breaks and Miss E swirled around in her ruby sequin dress and pretty bow. Just beautiful.

All the thanks in the world to Heather for making the whole thing look so easy. She accepted not a penny for her time, but rather donations to the local food bank. Yep, she’s amazing. Follow her lead, and donate to your local food bank here!

After recital weekend, we quickly shifted gears to school - taking inventory of existing supplies, filling our digital cart with needed items, and mentally preparing for the year ahead, which included a library haul full of titles to get us in the mindset for school.

Several books in our borrowed stack really stood out. I recommend all of these recent releases to anyone who is helping a young one get ready for a school year that will likely include some blend of remote learning, Zoom meetings, masks, frequent hand washing, and the like. Here’s a quick Kidlit Spotlight on five great back-to-school reads…

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I LOVE ME!

By LaRonda Gardner Middlemiss

Illustrated by Beth Hughes

(Beaming Books)

This story is brimming with affirmations, giving kids an extra dose of confidence as they head into new learning environments. The art reflects children from diverse backgrounds and includes the repeated phrase “I love me!”, which can be programmed into a switch for an interactive read along.

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THAT’S LIFE!

By Ame Dyckman

Illustrated by Cori Doerrfeld

(Little, Brown)

Meet “Life,” this fuzzy little gray character, who can be messy and pretty weird. In this story, “Life" acts out many of the idioms and sayings we use when talking about everyday happenings. The tone of this tale is humorous and gentle, resulting in a sweet and touching mantra for navigating the unexpected days ahead.

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CLOVER KITTY GOES TO KITTYGARTEN

By Laura Purdie Salas

Illustrated by Hiroe Nakata

(Two Lions)

Clover Kitty forgets all about kittygarten until the morning it begins. From the moment she arrives at school, through the end of the day, Clover is inundated with overwhelming stimuli. This story is particularly great for children with anxiety and/or sensory sensitivities. It’s honest about the ups and downs of Clover’s day, and also delivers a fun read aloud, filled with clever puns and satisfying internal rhyme.

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A WHALE OF A MISTAKE

By Ioana Hobai

(Page Street Press)

Mistakes happen every day, but sometimes they can feel so glaring, embarrassing, and just plain big. In this story, a mistake is embodied by a giant whale. As the story progresses, the child is able to see that the world is full of mistakes, and that mistakes do grow smaller and smaller in time, becoming little waves in the vast waters of our world.

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GRACE GOES TO WASHINGTON

By Kelly DiPucchio

Illustrated by LeUyen Pham

(Little, Brown)

Election years can provide a great opportunity for talking to our kids about government and democracy. In this story, Grace learns how the United States’ three branches of government work through a real-life experience, as students in Grace’s school decide how to spend their bake sale money. This story explains a complex concept with clarity, character and charm.

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I hope you’re able check these titles out - they’re all excellent! Wishing everyone a very safe, healthy and happy school year. It won’t be easy, but we’ve got this… I think!

And now, how about a little weekend fun? Hop over to my author Instagram @anitraroweschulte to enter to win a copy of CLOVER KITTY GOES TO KITTYGARTEN!

Plus!!! One lucky person will win two of the books featured in this back-to-school book roundup. (A big thank you to authors Ioana Hobai and LaRonda Gardner Middlemiss for sharing signed copies of their books!) Here are the details…

*** Win 2 books! ***

Signed copies of A WHALE OF A MISTAKE and I LOVE ME!

Simply...

1. "Like" this post (click the heart below)

2. Follow me (@anitraschulte) on Twitter

3. Retweet my pinned contest tweet by 8/30/20 

(Submit a blog comment below and get a BONUS ENTRY!)

GOOD LUCK!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

I love lots of things about our house. But the no-man’s land behind the garage has never been one of them. This barren, uninspired spot once served as the foundation for a hot tub. So imagine, if you will, hundreds of deep, spiky dandelions embedded in six inches of compressed river rock.

Horrendous.

On the upside - I’m an optimist, there has to be an upside - the area gets tons of sun. So my husband and I had a vision: Raised garden beds. Two of them. We’ve always had flower boxes of basil, rosemary, mint and oregano. But we are homeowners now. It was time to step it up.

Little did we know, we were in for a two-year rollercoaster. Creating this simple garden zone became an exercise in persistence. A constant reminder that nothing fruitful ever comes easily. Gosh, isn’t so much of life just like gardening?

You enter in with an fuzzy picture of what could be.

You make room. You create space.

You clear the debris - all 2,000 back-breaking pounds of it - so something new can take root.

You build the framework.

Suddenly, you can see it.

Next comes the basics.

Soil. Compost.

Seeds. Water. Sun.

Barefoot companionship.

Then, hark! Things bloom! Things grow!

Things get wild…

Weed.

Eat.

Repeat.

With a smidgen of success, it’s again time to plan.

Dare you think it, time to expand?

Well into year two, it finally comes through!

Friends draw near.

Some too close. Too hungry.

Yet on the whole, you see… white hope.

… green buds.

… sweet red fruit.

Plenty.

Gardening sure exposed the limitations of my green thumb. The cauliflower was a bust. (I always meant to wrap it! Why didn’t I wrap it?) We didn’t learn how to properly prune spinach until it was too late. And the collard greens are way too dense.

But we didn’t give up. And as a result, we haven’t needed to buy greens or cucumbers during a pandemic! And the tomatoes on the way hold the promise of salsa and caprese salad well into September.

Bottomline, though my fingertips turned to sandpaper cleaning those mud-caked rocks, and my husband raked his way to Nebraska and back, we kept at it. And the garden grew.

And right alongside it, we grew as gardeners, too.

A Different Kind of Mother's Day

Mother’s Day has me feeling… well… different this year.

It’s not the feeling of fresh flowers or a sunny family brunch.

I’m not sure if I should be seeing my mom yet (because, coronavirus). So I won’t be able to give her a hug or see her smile in person. And I’ve spent so much with my children, during the stay-at-home order, that motherhood at the moment has an unfamiliar flavor.

For the first five weeks, everything was truly fine. Homeschooling was going well, and the gorgeous days were actually really, really good. Lovely, even. I wasn’t exactly sure what my friends, who weren’t immediately impacted or risking their lives on the front lines, were lamenting.

Then I hit a wall. It was the week that my daughters’ summer camps were cancelled. The local summer festival (that was going to include a special needs day, two years in the making) was canceled. It was announced that certain parks, like a local swimming spot, wouldn’t open. And I got the notification that my daughter’s summer school was going virtual.

These developments made me realize that not only was social distancing not going anywhere, but summer would not be the same. At all.

About this time, it also dawned on me that I’d never gone this long without some kind of help with my eldest, who has Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome. Without a visit from my parents or my husband’s parents. Without a babysitter or mother’s helper. Without school or church childcare or Buddy Break. Without a date night or a morning alone at a coffee shop. Without any break of any kind.

Meanwhile, my back and neck were really hurting from lifting my daughter (who is 50 pounds). All day, every day. And my husband’s recent bike accident (don’t worry, he’s ok now!) meant that weekends were the same as weekdays. Not a lot of help with the physical demands there for a while.

Over the course of all of this, my momming was going downhill. Like, down. From exhaustion, but also from not getting to do what I want to do. I need to write, and let’s just say my computer has been… occupied.

Flipgrid, GoTo Meeting, Google Classroom, Microsoft Outlook, HelpKidzLearn, BookFlix, Happy Numbers, Mystery Doug, ABCYa, plus Gmail, to check all the messages that all three of them are getting, from multiple people, all day long. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for these platforms. I just miss my laptop. And at night I’m too tired to touch it, a resentment that’s grown dark roots, like my unhighlighted hair.

Now there’s a millimeter of separation between I’m-fine and completely melted. And I know the rest of my family is feeling it. The other night, as I was tucking in my middle, in desperate need of validation, I whispered to her…

“Am I a mean mommy?”

I held my breath waiting for her answer.

“Oh, no mommy!” she said with impassioned objection. “No, you aren’t!”

I exhaled, and we locked our hug in a little tighter. I felt silly that I needed to hear this from her, but I did. My mom report card, through self evaluation, was about a D+. The house. The groceries. The cooking. The teaching. The therapy. The position changes. The house. The groceries. The cooking. The teaching. The therapy. The position changes. These are the things I know I’m doing. I’m checking these boxes. All I’m doing is checking these boxes.

But the hugs. The kind words. The encouragement. The kisses. The laughter. The tender moments. These have been few and far between. These hallmarks of motherly love have been hard to deliver, while delivering all the rest. Not being able to give love, as I’m used to doing, has made me feel like someone else. I miss the mom I was before all of this.

Then I hear them playing “mom” in the basement…

“Oh, sweetie. Let me help you with that.”

“Ok, sweetie. But first you need to fix this.”

“That’s OK, sweetie.”

The moms they are pretending to be don’t remind me of the mom I am right now. But they are a reflection of a mom they know well. Maybe I’m still her, even though I can’t see her or hear her or feel her.

I’ve always hated the term self care. The idea of self love. I don’t like to be told how to take care of myself. You all know I’m proud like that. But one day, I threw myself in bed and finally grieved the loss of the life I’ve been living for so many years.

Then, quietly, I started talking to my friends about it.

I needed ideas. I needed to find ways to cope. I don’t like asking for help. But this helped.

So much.

I haven’t wanted to go for a jog - something I previously enjoyed. Or go for a walk. But one of my friends suggested I go for a bike ride. I kinda forgot this was something I could do by myself. Usually, biking is an all-family affair that involves pulling 70 pounds (Burley cart + oldest child) behind me.

I went for a ride, which Dan pretty much forced me to go on, truthfully. But I did it. And it felt like flying. I wanted to share with my friend that I followed her advice, so I had my middle take this pic…

“I love you more than anything,” I say to them.

“You always say that, mommy,” they say back.

This holiday, I have a feeling the tears will spill a little easier. Their taste will be a little saltier. Their temperature will feel hotter than usual on my cheek. But if my girls feel the deep, endless love I have for them, that is enough. That, and the beautiful memories we’ve made during this crazy, crazy time. Happy Mother’s Day, mommas.

Brand New Look in 20/20

Miss E recently had her annual ophthalmology appointment. Things were pretty routine until the last few minutes, when we learned that our just-turned-8-year-old girl is officially near sighted. Her ophthalmologist told us back in 2018 that we might eventually be having the glasses conversation. And here we were.

Dr. R demonstrated what Miss E’s vision is like up close, and then at a distance. Wow. No wonder she’s been frustrated when watching TV and sitting in church. Total blur. I’ve never worn glasses, so when I experienced what she’s NOT been seeing, it was clear.

Glasses. STAT.

But could we keep them on? Sunglasses have always caused us trouble. Dr. R said that kids of all motor abilities can tolerate glasses well because clear vision is just that great an incentive. So with Miss E’s fresh-off-the-printer prescription in hand, we went shopping.

Many children with Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome have a small head and face, so infant frames were a must. That made our first stop fruitless. Only standard-sized kid frames there. Luckily, the second stop had a few to choose from… and the nicest tech on the planet. Big bonus.

It was really exciting! I mean, Miss E was getting a brand new look. What style would she like? Would she want colored frames? Or, wait. Maybe we should manage our expectations. There might only be one pair that stays put... One by one, we gave them a go. It was all a bit like Goldie Locks and the Framed Squares.

The first pair: Too… colonial?

The second pair: Too big.

The third pair: Waaaay too small.

Goodness. Were we getting any closer to a good fit? Her sisters were pretty busy playing hide-and-go-seek and trying on different looks, so not a lot of help there….

A pink and a purple pair sat untouched in the tech’s box of options. I crossed my fingers and toes. Miss E’s favorite color use to be purple, and as of late, it’s pink. (You may recall she chose Pinkalicious as her Halloween costume this past year.)

The tech reached for the rosy hued pair. We put them on and Miss E gave them a discerning look…

The fit was great!

What do you think? I asked Miss E.

With her PODD book, she told me to turn the page, then pointed right to…

BEAUTIFUL.

Score! Not only did we have frames… we had frames that she loved. They won’t be in for another week or so, but until then, this smile is a reminder that my birthday girl’s feelings about her new look for 2020 are completely clear.

A Tale of Two Systems: High Tech & Light Tech

Our oldest daughter Elsa has complex communication needs. In order for her to express her thoughts, feelings and wants, she has to navigate complicated systems that require a lot of work and practice. She’s super smart, so that helps.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Through babbling, labeling and reiteration, we all come to realize that certain sounds and symbols have meaning and can be linked in endless combinations. Elsa has learned these things, too, but doesn’t have verbal language to convey her ideas.

Instead she has tools. Two of them. And they are oh-so-different.

Her high-tech tool is a talker device called the Accent 1000. Doesn’t that sound like a computer from the future? The language system that she uses on her Accent is CoreScanner and it operates in full blast mode. Each of these small buttons provides an in-road to even more buttons.

So… how does Elsa move through this thing? By gently touching white and orange triangle sensors on her tray, Elsa can move between the colored blocks on the screen. She scans options with the left triangle (the big one), and selects with the right triangle (the small one). Once Elsa picks a block, she cycles yet again - this time through the smaller buttons within each block.

When she selects a word, it goes into a box at the top of the screen. Word-by-word, she builds her sentence. Then, when she’s ready, she hits SPEAK DISPLAY, and her message is articulated in a child’s voice. It’s powerful, specific and exhausting. After about an hour, she needs a break.

Can you tell?

Good thing we have her PODD book, a light-tech tool. PODD (which I featured on the blog in Speaking PODD: 9 Things to Know) stands for Pragmatic Organization Dynamic Display. Pssst! The main character in my debut picture book DANCING WITH DADDY uses PODD, too!

PODD books come in many varieties. Elsa’s current PODD is a thick spiral-bound flip book with tabs that allow her to build messages through collaboration with a smart communication partner. (That’s me, my husband, my daughters, and her speech therapist and school team.)

See that scrunchie on Elsa’s wrist? She’s working on raising that hand when she has something to say. Look, she does! (We’re still fighting some of her hitting behaviors… hence, the arm stabilizers.)

Though we’ve been using PODD for several years, I’ve always wanted to go to the official training. This September, I finally had my chance to attend this in-demand two-day course. PODD expert Linda Burkhart led the class, walking us through the ins and outs of PODD, a system designed by Gayle Porter of the Cerebral Palsy Education Centre in Australia.

One of the most important things about PODD is that the book always needs to be within arm’s reach, so Elsa can gesture toward it or look at it to initiate conversation.

Elsa’s book has 12 frames on each page. Hers is a high-contrast book with black background, to help her focus. Below you’ll find her first page. These squares are called pragmatic branches because they allow her to begin building her message with a clear intention and direction. The numbers on each square let her smart partner know where to flip next.

Naturally, Elsa loves PODD because it’s partner powered and kid directed. She is really social, and PODD requires a communication buddy. Attending the two-day course gave me renewed energy for PODD. If I don’t model speaking on it, how will Elsa know how to get to what she wants to say? It was very convicting. My girl deserves nothing less than full access to full language, at all times.

We used the puzzle activity page in Elsa’s PODD book while playing with our friend Kendall at a recent meet-up with fellow Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome families from Illinois and Iowa. We’ve known Kendall since she was a toddler, and Elsa was just a baby, and it’s been incredible to watch her grow and flourish. She is AMAZING and quite the role model for Elsa.

Here’s the full slideshow of our WHS playdate. It’s always wonderful seeing the kids and spending time with folks on this same rare parenting journey. Truly priceless. We are blessed by their friendship and, also, by the amazing tools that help our girl communicate.

Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome Awareness Day 2019

People around the globe recognize April 16 as Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome Awareness Day. This rare chromosome disorder is a deletion on the short arm (p-) of the 4th chromosome. In shorthand, it’s often called WHS or “Four P Minus.”

April… the fourth month of the year.

P… the 16th letter of the alphabet.

Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome impacts 1 in 50,000. So, yep. Pretty rare. It was a term we had never heard of until our oldest was born. For the first seven days of Elsa’s life, we knew that doctors suspected she had a chromosomal abnormality. They just didn’t know what it was.

On day eight, we heard the diagnosis. I pulled out my old reporter hat and took notes through chest pains and bleary eyes. Focus on the details. Get it right.

Wolf, like the animal?

Yes.

Hirschhorn? Is that all one word?

Yes, it’s hyphenated.

OK. Okay. Breathe.

Collapse.

Into my husband’s arms, into my parents’ arms, into my siblings’ arms, into my savior’s arms.

Wolf-Hirschhorn. Such a precise name. No wiggle room. No ambiguity or uncertainty. What had seemed a vague possibility became final, immovable, permanent. With that phone call, a new, mysterious, question-filled life began for two brand new parents, who didn’t know the first thing about babies, let alone parenting a 4 pound 15 ounce miracle. Every preconceived notion we had about parenthood dissolved.

Meanwhile, ELSA.

Her name became my exhale.

Her life became our everything.

This blue-eyed beauty waltzed right into our two-bedroom condo and filled it with love and FIGHT. Fighting to get food into her body and, with equal vigor, to keep it out. Fighting to hold up her gorgeous face with all the strength her frame could muster. Hardly ever crying, be it needles, surgeries or seizures.

The rawness of these early memories and early years defined how I viewed WHS for a long time. I guess they always will, to a degree. But they were merely the starting point. Today, I can see beyond the next checkup and milestone and into the textures and challenges of our normal family life, which in many ways isn’t so different from the lives of our friends.

One reason we are in a strong place today is because of the support of website wolfhirschhorn.org. This month, I’m updating our Family Location Database, so that folks new to WHS can be introduced to others who live near them and build supportive friendships. It’s one of the greatest services our website provides, and it’s truly an honor to make these introductions.

On WHS Awareness Day, many people wear jeans with a hole in them to signify rare genes and the WHS deletion. Feel free to join us! But also know that by simply reading this, you are helping to raise awareness. THANK YOU.

Spring Break Adventures & Discoveries

This Spring Break has been such a good one! My husband was out of town for work for the first half of it, so the girls and I headed south to my parents’ house. The slides in Moultrie County got a good work out…

As did the crayons…

And the furniture… and poor Alexa, who I’m sure is enjoying her respite from four days as a DJ, tirelessly spinning Pancake Robots and It’s Raining Tacos.

Each day held an adventure or two, be it a movie, swimming at an area pool, visiting family or making crafts with grandma…

One of our favorite trips was a visit to the library in a neighboring town. Their children’s section was fabulous. Lots of great places to read and explore, including a dollhouse-style treehouse, a music phone booth, and a small indoor slide. My favorite? The audiobook listening station.

My eldest has a chromosome disorder called Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome, and one of the things that can be challenging for her is focusing and sensory processing. The headphones in this library were amazing. First of all, they stayed on! That alone can be difficult - my gal moves a lot. But they also were soft and snug and kept the sound just where it needed to be.

We snuggled in and read a classic book. It was just what we needed that day, at that moment. If you have a child who needs a little extra sensory input, I really recommend audiobooks and oversized headphones like these. My daughter was in the zone and able to hear the words of the story without interruption. I’m looking into getting a pair for home. And, this sweet chapter book, too…

I hope everyone enjoyed their break, whether it was somewhere distant or exotic, or some quality time unplugging at home. I certainly enjoyed taking the girls to spots from my childhood… and coming home with a suitcase filled with clean laundry. THANKS, MOM xoxo

Peace in the Holiday Season

December is nearly here… eeek! It always sneaks up on me.

I’ve been feebly attempting to work ahead on holiday planning and shopping, so that I can ground the majority of the month in the things that matter...  and steer clear of chaos. It’s a pursuit I’ll likely fall short of, but I’m going for it. I’m gonna do my best to slow down and preserve space and time for family and worship. As I work to orient my heart in the right direction, here’s a verse I find really powerful:

John 14:27 - I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Wow, I need this reminder every day. God didn’t create us for busyness. He created us for His glory, and His gift to us is peace. Knowing that a frantic feeling may soon come a’knockin, I recently created and shared a document with some friends, which provides ideas for pursuing peace this the holiday season. (Thank you for the jumpstart, Maggie, Jamie B and Hillary!)  

Each idea on this list includes a few verses to help guide prayer - if you (like me!) could use some direction. Feel free to borrow and share it, if you’d like! You should be able to open the PDF when you click on the image…

This sheet is currently hanging in our kitchen, where I can see it throughout the day… which I think will come in handy during the holiday season. Wishing you an advent full of peace, love and above all, JOY, celebrating the good news of our savior’s birth.

6 Things I LOVE About Being a Boy Mom: A Guest Post by Caroline Kinney

Raising boys is not something I know anything about. I was one of three girls, growing up, and now I'm raising three little ladies. If Dan and I had been blessed with a boy, I'm sure I'd have gotten up to speed quickly. But I can't help but notice how different things are going for my friends who are on the Boy Mom path.

The trucks. The dinosaurs. The sweet sensitivity. The ENERGY. 

A dear friend from Michigan, Caroline Kinney, is most certainly living the Boy Mom life. Here she is with her three handsome guys...

Not all boys are the same, of course, and I hate to generalize and over simplify. But there are similarities among many boys that can’t be denied. I asked Caroline to share a bit about her experience as a Boy Mom and her post is so funny and sweet. Now it’s yours to enjoy!

In Caroline's words...

"It’s a boy!" I’ll never forget the exact moment I learned I would officially become a boy mom.

We were having our anatomy scan and couldn’t wait to find out what we were having. After the nurse announced the gender, it was followed up by, “He REALLY wants you to know he’s a boy.” And so, it began. 

A few months later our first son, Griffin, was born, followed by our second son, Jack, just 19 months later. Until recently, I was the only one in my close circle of friends who had boys. All my other girlfriends had little girls. And let’s just the say the comparisons were obvious.

I can remember talking to one of my girlfriends and saying, “You mean she doesn’t climb out of her crib or try to scale the bookshelf or climb on top of her changing table? Ya mine either…”

Or when I asked if any of their girls would ROAR at anything and everything, because it’s currently a thing in my household (full apologies to the checkout staff at Target).

I’ve found that boys are just a whole other ball game from girls. From the climbing, wrestling and infatuation with all things construction – to the huge amount of energy they have. And let’s not forget how much they can eat (does anyone else feel like a personal chef between the hours of 6 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.?)

But you know what? Having boys is so. much. fun. and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Like all kids, no matter the gender, being a mom comes with challenges. But here’s what I love most about being a boy mom:

6 Things I LOVE About Being a Boy Mom

1. Embrace the mess: There’s no stopping it. Boys are messy. But it’s a good thing they’re cute while they do it. From the food they eat to the toys they play with, I try not to beat myself up over the chaos of having two little ones running around (and the tornado they often leave behind).

2. Brotherly love: It may have taken some time for my oldest to warm up to having a little brother, but now their love for one another is so strong. Sometimes too strong, but isn’t that what brothers are for? I’m forever grateful they have one another.

3. Raising respectful boys: I’ll never forget the moment both boys learned how to fold their hands to pray before dinner. Or when my oldest said “thank you momma,” without being prompted after I fixed one of his cranes and trucks (see #5). It’s at that moment you realize, they’re watching, listening and taking in everything they see around them. Raising respectful boys who are polite and kind is so important to me.

4. Built in workout buddies: There’s not much sitting happening in our household. Keeping up with a 2.5 year old and 1 year old is a workout in itself. But running with them in a double stroller? Lord have mercy. I now salute any mom who runs with toddlers. I once had a mom pass me in a 5K while pushing a stroller and I want to go back in time and give her a hug.

5. Trucks 101: Guys, I live for Tuesdays. GARBAGE day. Something I never thought I would say. I love seeing my boys in awe of the huge, green truck that drives by and beeps each week. I also found myself getting excited about any type of road construction because the number of excavators, dump trucks, cement mixers, back hoes and cranes is awesome. And yes, my 2 year old has corrected me on naming the wrong truck. Who knew there was a difference between a bulldozer and front end loader?

6. Unconditional love: Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. One minute they’re about to do exactly what you told them NOT to do, and the next they’re placing their hands on each side of your face and planting a big kiss on you. Either that or I have some huge charmers on my hands.

I had no idea how wild, exhausting, hilarious, trying, sleepless, happy of a ride I was about to be on when those three little words were said at our ultrasound. But, it’s been the best two and half years of my life.

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Thank you Caroline! I've always had the sense that being a boy mom was a different ballgame and you shared the realities with such sweet humor - just as you do with all things. Hugs to you and the whole Kinney crew!